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Strove to find a way to punch people in the face by using the Internet.

9/05/2003

DIARY OF INDIGNITIES
Sept. 4, 2003: After a protracted and frustrating experience with formerly servile opticians, I pay lots of money for a stylish new pair of black-frame glasses. Upon getting a glimpse of myself while wearing them to the country-folks grocery, I discover that I now bear a strong resemblance to the cooking queer from that popular and informative television show where gay men fix the straights (if he had been sampling a few too many of his dishes, that is.)

Note to self: newfound gay appearance strongly enhanced by pastel, mint-green dress shirt and gray/khaki striped tie, especially when everyone else around me is wearing denim, mud and drywall dust.

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