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Strove to find a way to punch people in the face by using the Internet.

4/18/2004

DIARY OF INDIGNITIES
Meghan's Birthday
Today we had a cookout to celebrate Meghan's birthday. She's a spry, sprightly — some say elfin — 54 years old.


They got her a cake...


...and a pinata.


Yep, a cookout full of boozed-up, surly punk rockers playing a game that involves trying to bust something open with a stick while blindfolded. What could go wrong?


As is the tradition in her country, Meghan rubs a live dog with a mixture of meat tenderizer and spicy marinade before we stuff it into the pinata.


Jason enjoys the sweet tones of Meghan's fiddle.


Hmmm... For some reason, this reminds me of that summer I spent in New Zealand.


Jason displays his novel new gadget, the beermit. It's a mit for beer. So you don't, ummm... Drop it? I guess?


Jason loading the beermit. We live in an age of technological marvels.


Seems to be working.


Now we're ready for the mayhem! Dave blindfolds Meghan. Creepily enough, we all kind of got the feeling they had done this before. I, for one, wasn't really ready to take my relationship with them to this level of intimacy, but whatever.


Getting the blindfold nice and tight while Sten, in the background, comforts a frightened child.


A drunk girl with a baseball bat isn't nearly as fun as a drunk, dizzy girl with a baseball bat, so Dave starts spinning Meghan. Rob Tyner, deceased vocalist of famed Detroit rockers MC5, looks on.


Bah! Enough with your silly spinning! Rob Tyner has no patience for these foolish games!


Oh yeah. I feel safe.


I left to go do a load of laundry and came back a couple of hours later. Meghan, plucky, unstoppable 73-year-old that she is, was still going at it.


Meanwhile, someone sneaks away and eats the entire cake in about three bites. Oh, Dave! P.S. Dude, there's a bee on your neck.


A solid blow and the beast has been beheaded. No longer shall Grendel terrorize this village! Meghan paints her face with its blood and bellows a lusty Viking song of victory.


What marvelous treasures and giblets await inside!


The victorious warrior claims the best prize of all.


Sadly, though, the day is not without its tragedies. George lies defeated on the field of battle. Looks like Hot Water Music might be canceling a few gigs, kids — sorry!

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