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Strove to find a way to punch people in the face by using the Internet.

6/24/2004

THE HUGHES ARE FAT ASS WIPES
How People Get Here
So my brother Neil hipped me to this cool site-monitoring software that you can use to see how people find your Web site. Here's a list of words and phrases from the past five days that people actually typed into popular seach engines to find the Diary of Indignities:

bad girls who smoke crack
what makes living trust go bad
funny q-tips
funny fucking shit
britney spears blowjob video + smoking gun
patrick hughes art apartment
first child advice funny
uncle fucking
bad news in emergency nursing
funny advice
the hughes are fat ass wipes
amway bad news
bad bad fucking girls
female figure four leglock
kill mites eyebrows
advice to children
bad affects of tamarind
sunburn itching
really bad shit
opaque eyed pencil neck geek
all good shit
naked uncle
beermit
glen hughes mustache
advice on what to wear
ladies difference in appearance from losing 50 pounds
shit ass
robert crumb inflate
blueberry costume wonka
jenny karate camping punch shorts
long lasting fuck advice
always your uncle
hotbottoms
head punching foxy boxing girls
moss ladies fucking in turkey
qtip pee hole
irish curse penis size

I can only hope that these brave, insane search-engine poets found what they were looking for here. And I'm seriously considering starting a merchandise section, so I can sell those Jenny Karate camping punch shorts that all the kids seem to love these days. Quality camping punch shorts are hard to come by, and I can wholeheartedly endorse the durability and comfort of the Jenny Karate brand.

There was some other crazy shit too, but it involved stuff I really don't want to reprint, lest it encourage more sick fuckers to come here. I mean, uncle fucking I can understand, but some of the shit people are looking for really disturbed me... Well, mostly. One pervert managed to deploy the phrase "pooping and peeing" in a way that made me giggle a little bit. But I still don't want those kinds of twisted fucks on this site.

One last thing: why so much cursing? Have we lost all sense of decorum? Disappointing.

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