Strove to find a way to punch people in the face by using the Internet.



Todd turned 27 yesterday. Here's a picture of him and the asscake. Nobody's really sure when Todd decided he was Willie Nelson.

For supper, we prepared fruit salad, tofu dogs, gazpacho and crisp celery sticks. You kind of need to keep it light in the summer, you know?

Watch and be amazed as the guy who once played bass for the wussiest emo band in the universe morphs into Ted Nugent before your very eyes!

This is me, trapped in Todd's disgusting bathroom thanks to a stuck door. I'm trying to pry it open with a tray from a computer printer.

I can hear Jimmy Buffet music coming from upstairs, and become increasingly desperate to escape. It's hard to estimate, because I blacked out when fucking "Margaritaville" came on, but I was locked in that stinking hellhole for like 20 damn minutes.

This is one of those rare instances when I simply just don't have anything to say.

Struggle all you like — Todd's got the scent of asscake, and there's no holding him back.

Your parents would be so proud.

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