Strove to find a way to punch people in the face by using the Internet.


I spent the last few days wandering around Chicago all gap-mouthed, an awestruck hick overwhelmed by a big, crazy city and its douchebag hipsters, terrifying sports fans and the lethal, Ditka-sized portions of meat and cheese they force you to eat everywhere. The occasion was Jon and Melissa's wedding, an unbelievably kick-ass affair featuring an all-star cast of weirdos and hoodlums as well as lots of booze and mayhem. I wanted to document all the hijinx, but unfortunately my hurricane-battered camera managed to poop out exactly one photo before seizing up on me once and for all... And, uh... Well, here it is:

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Todd Campisi in all of his glory. Truly, this is the sparkly cosmic good-vibes that cherished memories are made of... What do you reckon, the powerful erotic imagery here was just too much for the fragile circuitry to withstand? Yeah... That was my guess too.


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