Strove to find a way to punch people in the face by using the Internet.


Holy Shit, My Foot. Argh, What The Fuck.
So I had taken a bit of a break from kickboxing training the past few weeks, what with my Costanza and all. But this past week I tried to step up both the frequency and intensity of my shit, for no discernible reason. Here you can view the delightful results.

What the fuck. Seriously.

I have a vagina on my foot. How? Why? Did the lesbians put a curse on me? The fucking bathroom window was an accident, I swear. Call off your goddess, you lesbians, and I'll... Holy shit, did you just see that? Did that fucking thing just wink at me?

Everybody that thought I was frontin' about the magical healing powers of Krazy Glue can blow me.

By the way, I've been drinking for the past, um, six hours? Seven hours? Shit, I dunno. I lost count.

If I wake up tomorrow and still have a foot — that is, one that doesn't look like a rotten banana — I reckon it'll all be worth it.

Heh heh, I accidentally glued my foot to my thigh, and when I peeled it off it looked like this. Think it's permanent?

I swear to god, I have the best life in the world, and I... Ummm, hold on... Shit, I think I glued my foot to the floor. I, uh, need to go attend to this. Let me get back to you.


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