Strove to find a way to punch people in the face by using the Internet.




So the Diary of Indignities book is done. And it looks pretty great. In fact, I... I... I can't find anything to complain about. The editor, Chris Warner, and everyone else at the publisher did fantastic work. The designer, my good friend Jon Resh, made this thing just look unbelievably good. You need proof? Just look at the scream of joy coming out of this baby I found:


The book is winding its way through distribution channels and into stores now. Dropping by your favorite bookstore, or I guess maybe the bookstore you really want to see go out of business, and asking about it will help a lot. After some minor delays (I think involving a ghost) it's also finally shipping from Amazon, where one customer has already tagged it with a helpful term that will no doubt drive sales into the severals:


Incredibly bored time-wasters can also look around the Amazon page for useful and interesting facts. For example, checking out the text stats shows that readers purchasing Diary of Indignities get to enjoy a whopping 8,140 words per dollar spent, and I guaran-fuckin'-tee a heapin' helpin' of those words are positively radioactive with throbbing entertainment power. Why, just look:

key phrases

You just ain't getting Party Melon and poo water and ass blood and Skinhead Katrina from regular books, and Amazon proves it. (I do know a guy who suspects he got ass blood, and maybe poo water too, from Skinhead Katrina, but they got ointments for that kind of shit these days so let's not dwell on it.)

Anyway, I really am extraordinarily happy with the goddamn thing, and so far people picking it up seem to think it looks good and is worth their time, so there you go. I guess when they actually start reading it and get all murderously angry there'll be some issues to resolve, but that's alright. I've been looking for a good excuse to barricade myself inside my home with an arsenal for... Well, for years. So bring it on! You rotten bastards will never take me alive!

In the meantime, why not spend some time at Amazon adding horrific tags or suggesting inappropriate search terms? Or even buying the damn thing? In addition to words, it has photos. And the back cover is made from imported gourmet chocolate. And it will give you the power to fly and read minds.

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