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Strove to find a way to punch people in the face by using the Internet.

4/16/2007

DIARY OF THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME
Onstage with the Flaming Lips 4/15/07

So I have this buddy named Justin. He works for an excellent and weird rock band called the Flaming Lips.

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Justin's a little, um, special. But the guys in the band go out of their way to make him feel good. "Justin, could you please stay in this tent and keep an eye on these costumes? Thanks, pal," they'll say, or, "Justin, this blue tarp is very important. It would be great if you could go over there behind the stage and tie it down real, real tight while we're up here setting up all the lights and complicated sound equipment."

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When you meet the guys in the Flaming Lips or their crew they always make it a point to say nice things about Justin. "He's a hard worker. Aren't you, Justin? He sure takes good care of that special blue tarp. It's an important job, right? Isn't that right, Justin?" I think Justin's uncle is their accountant or something.

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One time when no one was looking Justin climbed up there like this guy and got scared and they had to call in a fire truck to come get him down. "I just wanted to help," he said. The guys in the band were really nice about it. "We know, Justin. You're a super hard worker and a big help. But we need you be in charge of the blue tarp," they said.

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Me and Justin were hanging out backstage when some of the guys wanted to check out my tattoos. Wayne, the lead Flaming Lips guy, really liked the one on my forearm. "Hey, that one could be me!" he said. "Do you mind if I customize it?"

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Before I could say anything, he just started drawing on me. I didn't kick him in the balls or anything, because they were fixin' to go onstage in a little bit and I figured he might need them. Plus he's famous, and letting famous people get away with stuff is tradition.

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"Look! Look! Hey guys! Look! I have a tattoo on my arm too!" Justin said.

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"One of the guys in the crew gave me a magic tattoo potion and it made me sleepy and I took a long nap and when I woke up this drawing of Jesus was on my arm! Isn't that cool?!" Like I said, they really go out of their way to make Justin feel like he belongs.

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A band called The Rapture opened up. I took a picture of their gear to capture some of that special backstage flavor. They were douche bags.

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The Flaming Lips get people out of the audience to wear costumes and dance around onstage. The way it works is they have Santas on one side of the stage and sexy alien girls on the other side and you dance around all crazy and shine flashlights and stuff. I was a Santa.

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Justin custom tailors the costumes in like seconds, right before you go onstage, even though the people are just pulled out of the crowd and he's never seen them before. They come out perfect every time. It's a little creepy, like some kind of Rain Man deal or something.

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He's got his own outfit he made himself, of course. He's really proud of it and all the band guys always compliment it. One time Justin got excited and showed "Thor's hammer" to some kids, and everybody had to pack up early and split town. Kind of an awkward scene.

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So the Flaming Lips are pretty great.

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Justin, if you get one of the guys to help you with the computer and read this to you, I just want to say thanks.

4/09/2007

SWEET
library
We'll be in Jacksonville the next day, at the public library there. We won't actually have books or anything, of course.

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